Alex
Salmond yesterday set the SNP the ambitious target of winning more
than a third of Scotland's seats at the next general election, saying
he wanted to make Westminster "dance to a Scottish jig"
The Scotsman, 21st April 2008
SNP party leader Alex Salmond capitivated delegates to the party's
spring conference this week with a whole new raft of policy announcements
and a bravura demonstration of his skill with a brace of .45 Colt
Peacemakers.
After
announcing that the SNP would hold the balance of power at Westminster
following the next UK elections, Mr Salmond demonstrated the mechanism
by which "Westminster would dance to a Scottish jig."
With
finance minister John Swinney gamely taking on the role of "Westminster"
by dressing up in cardboard boxes that looked a bit like the Houses
of Parliament, Mr Salmond then drew his six-guns and fired a fusillade
of rounds close to Mr Swinney's feet, all the while instructing
Mr Swinney to "Dance! Purty boy, dance!" Mr Swinney wisely
moved his feet in a pas de basque motion to avoid the .45 bullets
ploughing into his nice new brogues.
While
some of the saloon girls present considered Mr Salmond's actions
somewhat cruel and ill-advised it is thought unlikely that any legal
action will follow, since Salmond ally Nicola Sturgeon is the Deputy.
Elsewhere,
Mr Salmond rejected accusations put to him on a BBC show that he
was "smug".
Well,
fuck me. Who'd have thought he would have done that?
"Dance! Purty boy, dance!" etc.
|
