| Here's
an idea to make your arse ache.
Get
on a bike, say, in Glasgow, and cycle to Carlisle , 100 miles. Good
for you eh? Here, have a big clock. And then, do the same the next
day, and the next day etc. for seven months.
How's
your arse feeling?
Fifer
Mark Beaumont did just that last year, cycling 18000 miles to circle
the world, and BBC Scotland were with him at least part of the way.
"The
man who" is going out at 7pm all this week on BBC 2 Scotland
and as I write this I've only seen the first two bits but its really
inspiring stuff on several levels.
The
kid, (he's in his mid twenties but he looks about 14) is very likeable
and since the BBC have hedged their bets on his chances, a lot of
the reporting is just done by Mark video diarying, and he, like
most young people, is disarmingly honest, detailing every muscular
pain and digestive disturbance in frank and graphic detail. Nice
guy, completely round the bend of course, but a nice guy.
And
then there are the people. Bemused indifference mainly seems to
be the general theme as Mark made his way into The Middle East and
then on to Pakistan (characterised by sarky pig-ignorant polis apparently).
Indians were a lot more nosey, congregating whenever Mark got his
video camera out, and our intrepid cyclist's face was a picture
as he described the admiring comments he received from Indian males,
complimenting him on his lovely body. Blimey. It's probably those
tight cycling shorts that's setting them off mate.
I'm
sticking with Mark's story this and next week week. I mean, I know
he was successful and everything, breaking the previous world record,
but sometimes it's just as much fun being given the opportunity
to witness how the story turned out even when we know how the story
turned out, if that makes sense.
Regular
readers of The JT will know that I'm not an uncritical fan of BBC
Scotland's output but hats off to this show. The show has inspired
even me to look anew at the family push bike lying unused and unloved
in the garden. Maybe I should oil her up and spin a few miles down
the road that stretches to forever.
Forever
in this case being two miles to Tescos. Actually maybe not, because
my arse is starting to ache just thinking about it.
I
couldn't let the developments in the Shannon Matthews case pass
by without comment. There is a Scottish facet to this case, bear
with me, we'll get to it in a minute.
For
those of you living in Real Foreign(that's the bit of the world
outwith Scotland, Wales, Ireland and That England), 9 year old Shannon
was reported missing by her mum, Karen, a while back, in Dewsbury,
West Yorkshire.
Shannon
thankfully turned up safe and not at all hurt in a flat owned by
her step-father's uncle, and the polis, who'd been under a bit of
media pressure over the disappearance, smelt a rather large rat.
Long story short, her mum Karen has now been charged with basically
having something to do with the kid's disappearance.
My
initial thoughts were , "God this'll make a great TV movie"
but, apparently, the very same plot line popped up sometime ago
on "Shameless",(C4's affectionate tribute to under-class
entrepreneurship set in Broughton, Salford), centering on staging
a child abduction with a view to making a few bob. The inference
being that Karen and her mates, thought, you know…
I think this is what post-modernists call an instance of intertextual
borrowing
Anyway,
the Scottish interest in the Dewsbury case revolves around a neighbour
of the family who pops up anytime the media want a quote. This respondent,
under a patina of a Yorkshire accent, is clearly Scottish. From
what I've seen of her being interviewed, the lady would appear not
to be averse to the odd refreshing sherbet or six, all of which
leads me to speculate how she might have ended up in Dewsbury in
the first place.
A
good night out in Glasgow perchance, a misstep on to the wrong bus,
a wee sleep and voila! She ends up in Dewsbury and thinks to herself
"fuck, it, I'll just stay here."Who knows?
If
this case ends up as a TV drama I hope at least wee Shannon gets
something out of it. At the moment she looks like she's going to
be the real loser in this sad mess and that's not funny.
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