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Never
have our crivvens been so comprehensively jingsed, or has our boabs
been previously found in such dire need of help!
Ladies,
avert your gaze, for we are about to talk about the bodies of naked
men…
Apparently,
that go-ahead, down with the kids etc. tourist marketing organisation
Visit Scotland had some video shot of male naked surfers enjoying
the surf to be found off the beaches of Barra.
The
idea was that resulting footage would find its way onto YouTube,
Facebook , Bebo etc., as an instance of viral marketing aimed at
attracting the targeted demographic - young people who might conceivably
be prompted to find out where Barra was because it was obviously
a cool, happening type of place to be and then visit.
Aye,
right.
Having
got wind of the whole sordid business the local priest rounded up
a few disgusted parishioners prepared to express their disgust and
guess what? Cool, happening etc. Visit Scotland not only apologised
profusely but then made sure (and I quote directly here) that "all
the footage had been destroyed." Two points occur to me here.
Were
the islanders satisfied with being told that the offending video
had been destroyed or did they insist in witnessing the immolation?
Perhaps all dancing, fully clothed of course, round and round the
fire of tape while chanting.
My
second point, and I trust ladies that you are all still averting
your gaze, one suspects that there wouldn't have been much to "see"
on the tape in any case. I'm not a surfer myself, in much the same
way I'm not given to sticking my dangly bits in the door frame and
then shutting the door really hard. But if you want to engage in
either activity, on you go.
Anyway,
male surfers of my acquaintance tell me that surfing naked off the
bracing environs extant on Barra would stimulate certain physiological
changes (ahem) "down below", meaning that there wouldn't
be a lot to "see" if you catch my drift. So one must conclude
that "Disgusted of Barra" has exercised a considerable
feat of imagination or is in possession of a very powerful magnifying
glass.
One
must also conclude that the naked surfers are mental and in need
of some psychiatric assistance.
Being
the perverse sort, I do hope that some enterprising Visit Scotland
employee has made a copy of the video and look forward to seeing
it on YouTube. And just think, in only 30 years time, when the 21st
century finally reaches the residents of Barra and the internet's
available on the island, they'll have the pleasure of being disgusted
all over again.
Marvellous
thing, technology.
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