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A
report published this week revealed the shock finding that at over
160 Scots are content to live off state benefits, refuse offers
of work and talk bollocks in public!
The
shock findings include:
- The
group are addicted to "salaries" - paid out of state
coffers
- In
addition, many of the so-called Em Ess Pees are also addicted
to "expenses"
- They
routinely refuse offers of "real work" unless this involves
lucrative boardroom positions
- None
of the Em Ess Pees have any intention of coming off state benefits
- Experts
in the field claim that the group are in a state of "suspended
animation", largely inactive until news of a free buffet
circulates.
Long-term
exposure to the expensive Em Ess Pee lifestyle can lead to a chronic
inability to say anything without talking bollocks. Experts in the
field point to the tragic case of Bill Aitken MSP who this week
(ahem) "helpfully" described addicts on methadone programmes
as "fat, dumb and happy".
A
top drugs boffin told The JT : "The Bill Aitken outburst tragically
illustrates the consequences of a long-term addiction to the politician
lifestyle: a total lack of self-awareness, instinctively acting
on the urge to go for soft targets, and the inability to look in
a mirror once in a fuckin' while."
"Pot,
kettle, black."
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