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Following
Prince Harry's deployment in Afghanistan, Private Hughie McPherson,
Argyll and Sutherland Higlanders Battalion of the Royal Regiment
of Scotland will now insist that he not be given any special treatment
either.
The
squaddie told The JT "I understand that Prince Harry threatened
to resign his commission if he wasn't sent to Afghanistan and therefore
special arrangements, not covered by QRs seem to have been applied
to let him have his own way. Having just received orders requesting
my attendance at an upcoming kick-up in Helmand Province with the
Taliban I've now decided that I'd rather not go and look forward
to the Army finding me something else less dangerous to do."
Prince
Harry's experiences, involving him swapping his highly hilarious
party wear of a Nazi uniform for the more conventional attire of
a British soldier it is thought will actively encourage more young
men to join up to serve in Foreign.
However,
intending recruits will be somewhat disappointed to find that, unlike
Harry, they will not be protected day and night by a couple of Gurkha
soldiers, mainly on grounds of cost as an Army spokebrevit now explains.
"If we had every soldier protected by another two Gurkha soldiers
it would just become unfeasible on grounds of cost and besides the
Gurkhas would start wondering who was going to protect them while
they were protecting the first set of soldiers. It would be just
far too confusing and the army doesn't believe in giving anyone
special treatment. Er, hang on…"
Meanwhile,
Private McPherson's bid to avoid deployment to somewhere he might
get killed is likely to fall at the first hurdle as an army source
now tells us: "We've had a quick look in Debretts and it appears
clear that Private McPherson isn't even a minor aristocrat far less
within shouting distance of the royal succession. Private McPherson
will be treated exactly like any other serving member of the armed
forces who's not third in line to the throne - he'll do what he's
fuckin' told or fuckin' else."
Professor Beaker, of Aberdeen's Centre for the study of The Windsor
Family confirmed to The JT that if you want to get your own way
it's better to be a member of the Royal Family. "Exhaustive
study of the topic has led me to conclude that if you want to do
exactly what you want to do it is advisable to be born a member
of the Royal Family. Even if, like Harry, you look nothing like
the rest of them…"
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