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Under-fire
MSP Charlie Gordon pledged his undying support for Wendy Alexander
as his leader heroically pushed him into the firing line whilst
herself diving for cover.
The
move came as Wendy faced an investigation over £950 allegedly
donated illegally by a foreign-based businessman to Wendy's leadership
campaign.
As
the £950 was part of £17k spent on a campaign that never
took place, political analysts are asking where the money went.
One
analyst told the JT : "Apparently Wendy's campaign team managed
to burn through £17k despite the fact that she was elected
as Labour leader unopposed. All I can think is that they must've
got through a hoor of sausage rolls at the victory party."
Frank McAveety, MSP for Shettleston and professional buffet slayer
later confirmed to The JT that this was indeed the case remarking
that he'd not had anything to eat that day since lunchtime, so he
hudnae.
Meanwhile,
hapless Charlie's role as sacrificial lamb was triggered by a succession
of tragic events just like out of "Platoon" or something,
with first Gordon Brown pushing Douglas Alexander into the line
of fire, then Douglas gieing his sister a shove and so on culminating
in Charlie standing there on his own wondering where everyone else
had gone.
According
to analysts, under the dictionary heading "Box, not the sharpest
tool in the" there's a picture of Charlie, so it's not clear
if Charlie understands what the phrase sacrificial lamb actually
means.
In similar fashion it is thought that Charlie doesn't understand
what the expression "taking one for the team" means or
how much his arse is going to hurt afterwards.
Charlie
tries and fails to work out what the fuck just happened…
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