| Following the conviction last week
of Nutter Nun Sister Alphonso for beating kids up, the Catholic Church's rapid excuses
squad swung into action, blaming a printing error. "Its easy done" explained a Church spokespriest, "You see at
the time when Sister Alphonso was training, there was a mistake in the print run of the
Bible she was using."
In the Book of Mark, he explained, the direction "Suffer
the little children to come unto me" had, due to a printing glitch, read as
"Make the little children suffer"
When supplies of the dodgy doctrinal document eventually wore
out, sometime in the 1980s, the Church was quick to put the error right. "I'd like to
assure people that this unfortunate incident was a one-off and nothing like this ever
happened anywhere else and, if it did, it wasn't our fault. So there." |
The attractively-costumed cleric
pointed out that due to the loose, federal nature of the Roman Catholic Church there was
nothing the organisation could do to stop people dressing up in clerical garb, opening
children's homes and claiming to be religious while beating up small people. "Only a
monolithic institution, strictly hierarchical and unprepared to tolerate dissent could act
to close down rogue operations. I mean, come on, does that sound like the Catholic Church
to you?" The spokespriest did concede that
the legal cases did point for the Church to have a rethink on their child care policy.
"Foetus-wise, we're OK, no one can touch us for the standard of care we offer the
unborn. Post Partum? Fair do's, we'll get back to you on that."
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