| Sir Michael Ancram, now safely
eliminated from the contest to lead the obscure Conservative cult, has confirmed his wish
to return to public life. "I realise now that a life of total
obscurity is not for me" the Scottish aristo conceded. "I intend now to
explore new musical directions and will be going back on the road." "Mikey"
intends to go into the recording studio next month to begin re-mixing the entire back
catalogue of Ralph McTell to a bitchin' drums 'n' bass backing track.
Elsewhere in the world of pop, tourists visiting
Edinburgh Castle could only look on in disbelief as an elderly man insisted on strumming a
guitar and singing whiningly for two hours. |
Mr Bob Dylan, an OAP from the US
was due to play Stirling Castle at the weekend but he became confused and ended up in
Edinburgh. "All these castles look the same to me" he complained as
compassionate social workers had him sectioned under the Mental Health Act and taken to a
place of safety. Back in London, Kenneth Clarke the leftish (ahem)
candidate for the Tory party leadership promised the electoral college a commitment to
core Tory values and access to hunners of cheap fags. |
