| In what is being widely seen as a
good laugh, the two, ahem, "huntsmen" charged under new anti-fox murdering
legislation are to be tried by foxes. A spokeswig for the Procurator
Fiscal’s Office told the JT; "When the legislation went through the Scottish
Parliament, we included a clause written in invisible ink for a laugh."
The relevant clause allows defendants to be tried in a special court presided
over by a member of the genus Vulpus.
Professor Beaker of Edinburgh’s School of Made up Legal Studies told the
JT: "It's unusual for a fox, usually considered a successful, opportunistic predator
to be given the responsibility of trying a human being in a court of law, but, let’s
face it, who cares?" |
If found guilty the two defendants
are likely to be sentenced under the terms of another little known provision of the
current legislation, as the spokeswig explains: "If you look closely right at the end
of the legislative order you’ll see a micro-dot, magnified 1000 times this reads
‘Anyone found guilty of hunting with dogs, shall be dressed up like a fox and hunted
by dogs.’ That’ll learn them." Although the prospect of
being chased to exhaustion and torn apart by a pack of slavering hounds might alarm the
defendants they can take heart from Countryside Alliance claims that most fox hunts end
with the animal getting away scot-free. So, at least they’ve got a chance eh?
A tearful Clarrisa Dickson Wright told The JT last night that if the huntsmen
are found guilty she will leave Scotland forever. So that’s another right good result
then… |
