"BBC poll finds 67% of Scots to support England in World Cup." Er, hang on, that can’t be right... No honestly, according to a poll of 500 Scots, well over half of those surveyed will be backing England in the World Cup. That can’t be right can it? I mean there must be a rational explanation for this, like: Poll possibly conducted by telephone with residents of Dun-Thinking Care Home for the synaptically challenged, Duntocher. Margin of error set at 95%. (ask someone who knows about stats to explain this gag) Question asked read : "Given the choice, would you rather support England or die horribly in a bizarre gardening accident?" 33% of Scottish sample elect for horrible death in bizarre gardening accident. Tick box options did not include "Fuck off and die". Pollsters put off by stream of telephonically transmitted sarcasm and abuse. Decide to just make up the results. Retailers report that rush on Trinidad and Tobago scarves and flags probably just a coincidence. Scottish politicians take poll result at face value, welcome evidence of "a new sense of maturity amongst the Scottish, reflecting the new reality brought about by the Devolution settlement and the re-ordering of notions of national identity or something..." Inside: Time and cost overrun-ridden Wembley ground to be christened "Stadium of Shite" in poll of newly mature Scots, reflecting the yadda yadda yadda etc. April 2006 New news   Recent news    Contact