| Gazillion, banillionaire Donald Trump announced a multi-million
dollar golf investment in Aberdeen this week, and no-one listened to a word he said…
Yes, you’ve guessed it, the world and its mother continues to be transfixed by what
the fuck is it that he wears on his head. Mr Toupee, oops, I’m sorry, I meant to
say, Trump, will be in Aberdeen soon to discuss the project with grateful council
officials.
"We will be looking very carefully at Mr Trump’s proposals" a council
official told The JT, |
"mainly the bit about free money - that phrase will always
swing it for Aberdonians." It is thought that
Mr Trump will go walkabout in Union Street to receive the plaudits from a grateful
populace, but council officials are already warning locals not to stare,
"If greeted by Mr Trump, it's very important to
maintain eye-contact and not let your sight-line travel hairwards."
Also ixnayed is any attempt to poke, muss or otherwise
disturb the luxuriant locks. |
Professor Beaker of Aberdeen’s Department of Semiotics has a
plausible explanation for Trump’s knitted look. "Mr Trump’s mother is
Scottish. By wearing something that looks like a Highland coo’s arse on his head, Mr
Trump is subconsciously paying tribute to his Scottish roots - or he would be if he had
any roots, follically speaking." 
Donald’s hair: does he comb it or feed it
biscuits?
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