| Defence minister John Reid issued a heartfelt apology to his
Lanarkshire constituents when police discovered cannabis at his erstwhile home. The whacky
baccy, with a street value of 79 pence, was described by constituents as a laughable
amount. Barely able to contain his shame, Mr Reid told waiting media :"I feel I
have let the whole of Lanarkshire down. As national statistics show, the average police
raid on a house with a Lanarkshire postcode should yield at least a tenner wrap, a quarter
of black and sufficient eccies to see you right for the weekend. I can only blame pressure
of work for this lamentable oversight on my part."
|
But local Lanarkshirians were critical of the oversight as evidenced
by the reaction of Hughie who lives in a skip at the back of The Asda in Coatbridge:
"I saw the minister visiting our troops in Aghanistan and I thought, here we go,
we're on to at least some decent ‘ghannie cut wi’ opium. 
Honest, officer, just look, its
just a dead wee tottie bit, so it is
But apparently Mr Reid failed to take
advantage of not having to clear customs and returned whacky-less. |
While I can appreciate that the War on Terror must have absolute
priority, I fear that Mr Reid has forgotten the drug-related needs of his ain folk in
Lanarkshire. I call on the minister to resign or go on a fact-finding trip of other
cannabis producing areas of the world forthwith." It is thought that the issue is
not being seen as a resigning matter at Westminster as Mr Blair will probably exceed his
weekly getting rid of ministers allowance sometime in the next week.
Lanarkshire take-away |
