| Despite press reports that the
latest Church attack on plans to give same-sex unions equal rights constituted a
homophobic rant, nothing could be further from the truth, as Professor Beaker of
Aberdeen’s Corporate Strategy Unit explains: "This isn’t about gays, this
is about bums on pews." Professor Beaker pointed to the latest
demographic reports signalling a long term decline in Scotland’s population.
"Family sizes in Scotland are shrinking and it's fair to infer that Catholic family
sizes must be also shrinking pro rata. Put simply, parishioners are no longer simply
Shaggin’ For Jesus."
Faced with declining congregations, The Church is therefore forced to flail
around looking for a scapegoat. Step forward, homosexuals. The private member’s (ooh
er missus!) bill would, Church spokesclerics argue, be "subversive" attacking
the good old heterosexual family unit as society’s basic unit. |
Although it's always hazardous to
employ a rational argument when dealing with organised religion, one must conclude, in
reality, that the "attack" on the family comes from families themselves. The
units are getting smaller as hetero-couples put a production limit on churning out Babies
For Our Lord. Nevertheless, press coverage of the latest edict from
Planet Celibacy demonstrates that when it come to contradicting yourself in the space of a
sentence or two, ye canny whack "official" Church spokespersons.
M’lud, I present to the court, in evidence, the following verbatim
utterance from a Mr John Deignan: "It is not
homophobia and we have no gripe against homosexuals per se but we believe that the
homosexual relationship is subversive."*
Anyone who can unpick the logic in that statement should deservedly be awarded a
big clock. |
