"A lobbying firm made a
donation to Labour's Holyrood election campaign, it has emerged.
A professional lobbyist from Luther Pendragon worked for the Scottish Labour Party during
the May election campaign while on a sabbatical. "
BBC News OL,15th August 2003"And in the year of our Lord, 2003, early on, April
time, it came to pass that Luther Pendragon, not the King of the Britons, the other one,
the younger brother who went into PR, set one of his young knights, Douglas Trainer, a
holy task: To work for Labour in the Scottish Parliament elections saying, ‘Douglas,
late of NUS Scotland, now useful partner in our holy quest after scads of cash, take
yourself forth to Scotland and there give Lord Jack McConnell a dig out in his battles
against the tribes of Tory and Snips’.
And the young knight Douglas was troubled and asked of his King ‘But will it not
look that we’re helping the Lord McConnell to be in line for lucrative lobbying
contracts if he gets back in?’
And Luther Pendragon’s brow darkened with rage and he answered his young knight
thusly: ’Well, duhr…’
…and it came to pass, after many hours of arduous journey that the young Douglas
happened upon the castle of Bute House and he knocketh upon the great door, and lo, from
an upper window, The Lord McConnell
himself issued forth demanding of the young |
knight, ‘If
you’re from Pizza Express just leave the margarita at the door, we’ve got an
account.’ And Douglas gainsaid the Lord McConnell saying: "I come as an envoy
from the one called Pendragon of the land of Islington, and I am charged with a holy
quest, to giveth you a dig out.’
And the Lord McConnell asked of him with suspicion in his voice: ‘and how much is
this going to cost?’ And Douglas glanceth at his fee table and replied ‘ Well,
it would normally be about 4 grand’s worth, but we’ll do it for nothing.’
And the Lord McConnell did grin and bade the young knight welcome…
…and it came to pass again that young Douglas did giveth Scottish Labour a dig out
and it came to pass yet again that the Lord McConnell won his battle against the tribes of
Tory and Snips.
But lo, his trusted vassal, Lord Jim of the tribe Lib-Dem was troubled and asked of
him: ‘Er, Jack don’t you think accepting unpaid help from a London based
lobbying consultancy implies a quid pro quo in terms of awarding contracts in the
future?’
And Lord Jack’s brows, like those of Luther earlier, darkened and he sayeth
‘Christ Jim, typical lawyer, don’t sweat it, no one will ever find
out…’ " |
