| Under fire SNP supremo
John Swinney confirmed to the JT that he relishes the prospect of a battle for the party
leadership. "Let the challenger come ahead, I’m just back from my honeymoon
where I got to have sex with a girl and everything." Looking much more
self-confident than of late, Mr Swinney leant back in his chair and stretched in a
languorous fashion before continuing: "This contest is about the future direction of
the party. The choice is clear, does the party want to be led by someone like Doctor Bill
Wilson who's probably still a virgin or does it want the clear direction offered by a real
man like me, whose been playing hide the sausage for the last fortnight." |
Pressed on the
SNP’s poor showing in the last election Mr Swinney insisted that the future is
looking much brighter: "Yes, of course the future is still uncertain but one
thing’s for sure, I’m onto a promise every night. It's fuckin’ magic." Mr
Swinney went on to insist that the debate at the party conference would be fair and
focussed on the issues facing the SNP: "My question to Bill Wilson will be simple and
dignified - did you get to shag anyone last night? Well, did you? Did you?"
Drawing the interview to a close, Mr Swinney hurried the JT editor out the door of his
Angus home, explaining: "Liz is due back in ten minutes and I want to nail her while
she’s taking her coat off." |
