| With Shetland forced to
import water as sizzling summer temperatures dried up island based supplies, an Edinburgh
based representative for Scottish Water admitted the organisation had been caught out. "All
our projections on water consumption on the islands have been historically based on two
assumptions. First, that there is no such thing as "summer" on the Northern
Isles and second, that Shetlanders don’t take baths."
Asked to locate the troublesome islands on a map, the spokestap demurred, insisting
instead that he knew exactly where Shetland was : "Somewhere up north, probably
beyond Perth." |
The source did admit to
Central Belt bias in assessing likely demand : "We always just assumed that the
locals up there occasionally gave themselves a quick wipe with a rag lightly moistened
with sheep dip. Apparently however, they take showers, baths and everything. Blimey,
who’d have thought it eh?" Sensitive to claims that SW’s attitude betrays
ignorance of far-flung customer needs on the islands, the spokestap hurried to Waverley to
get a train north, got mixed up with the platforms and ended up in Birmingham. |
