| In the week when the world held its
breath waiting for news of Beckham’s foot, Creator of All The World, Lord of the
Universe, Supreme Being, the Deity, confessed to the JT that he was distraught. "I’m
distraught. It's too much on top of everything else. Earth, my creation, riven by war,
hunger and disease, and now this. I just wish I could pray to someone to help mend
David’s foot. I just feel so helpless."
In that totally measured and dignified way the English media handle a crisis
surrounding national icons, both BBC and ITV are clearing their schedules to report from
David’s Mercedes as surgeons battle to salvage England’s chances of scraping
through the first stage of the World Cup - a minor football tournament that Scotland no
longer bothers with. |
In Glasgow, police are still
looking for the Champion’s League Cup unwisely brought to the city a month before the
final tie. A security guard told the JT: "Two young men wearing brown coats came up
and told me they were moving the Cup to a place of safety. On reflection, I suppose the
Kappa caps they were wearing should have tipped me off, but, there you go, you live and
learn." A spokesned for Glasgow’s criminal fraternity
explained that the theft was part of the city’s expected financial bonanza for
staging soccer’s premier European club tourney. "Analysts are expecting £20m to
come to Glasgow in travel and hospitality revenues. We’re just getting our share
early doors - big man."
Back at Beckham mansions, David fell into the consoling arms of wife Victoria
or, as she’s known to her devoted fan, Glaikit Spice |
