While the show is still being written, The Jaggy Thistle has managed to obtain a selection of excerpts that promise to have them rolling in the aisles wherever there is nostalgia for the good old days. Show highlights include:

• On stage banter between Tam and Brian. Tam: "So whit fate awaits those who deny the Lord then, Brian?" Brian: "An eternity of agony in The Pit, Tam!"
• Feel the Lord's passion. Onstage renactments of the Crucifixion with members of the audience invited up to experience the pain of slow strangulation and terminal blood loss. One for the kiddies.

• "She might be dumb as a stump but she makes a good steak pie." Tam and Brian duet on a touching tribute to traditional womanhood.
• Compassion interlude: Slide show of dewy eyed infants with Tam and Brian leading the communal oohing and aahing..
• Big dramatic finale, with "Detectives Tam and Brian" smashing a plot to use schools to introduce kids to rational thought and the development of tolerance. Screaming "Nancy Boy" is unmasked on stage and beaten to the death by our two heroes.
• Encore and closing prayers, back drop provided by dead Nancy Boy turning slowly suspended from a gibbet…

Promoters hope that this type of traditional family fare will turn children away from watching secularist TV programmes that might give them nightmares…