| Campaigners in the Black
Isle, previously in opposition to local GM crop trials, have this week changed
their minds. The opposition, centred on the village of Munlochy, told the JT that they now
thought GM trials were a good thing. Vox
pops on the streets of the village with locals confirmed the turnaround.
Mrs Mackie who runs the village post office told the
JT; "GM trials good, must have GM trials", while stamping the same pension book
over and over again.
Elsewhere, beat policeman Angus directed nonexistent
traffic in the deserted streets but found time to comment "Monsanto will provide,
simply believe and it will be so." Angus then walked off, stiff legged and making
growling noises.
Local farmer Hector paused from loading strange pod
things onto to a trailer to tell the JT, "All are one, all are one, give up and all
will be well."
At the local school, the normally boisterous pupils
stood silently in rows looking off into the middle distance while the sun reflected off
their uniformly blond locks.
This curious reversal in local attitudes seems to
have been triggered by the early flowering of the genetically modified oilseed rape.
A local councillor told the JT: "A thousand million pollen seeds burst into an azure
sky, it was just beautiful man...ken?"
We contacted the multinational company responsible
for the trial but their spokespod was mind-melding with the Hive and couldn't come to the
phone.
Late breaking reports tell of serried ranks of giant
rapeseed oil plants marching towards Inverness intent on invasion. It's still unclear
whether the 12-foot tall ambulatory plantlife will be content with laying waste to the
Highland capital or intend moving on to attack civilisation as well. |
