| The stench of burning flesh,
columns of black smoke that blot out the sun... Yes, it's tourist bonanza time! A new report out later this week will urge the Scottish tourist
industry to grasp the opportunity of Foot and Mouth bonfires to boost visitor numbers to
Scotland.
The report's authors, the "Away With the Budgies
Consulting Group", had been commissioned by the tourism agency, VisitScotland, to
analyse the current crisis, and their report is surprisingly upbeat and optimistic.
Group MD, Alastair Avarice told the JT: "It's all
about niche marketing. You might look at a funeral pyre of burning animal flesh and
think 'Yeuch!', but think about how many Christians there are in the world ..." |
The report proposed marketing
Scotland to the world's major churches as the "Hell on Earth Experience", with
planeloads of curious pilgrims being bussed to various rural infernos to look upon a
reasonable facsimile of the fires Hell. Mr Avarice
went on: "Pain, death and destruction. If those three little words don't get
the pious punters flocking in, I don't know what will."
Mr Avarice dismissed reports that his company had been paid
£30k to write a load of pish. "It was nearer £60k", he insisted. |
