| With the new year barely days old,
long term Bonnybridge resident, Hughie McNicol, expressed disappointment with the way 2001
was turning out. Mr McNicol, 46, of 23 Desolation Drive, had expected to have been wearing
a Baco-Foil suit by this year and dining exclusively on protein pills. A long term UFO
watcher and sci-fi buff, Mr McNicol recalled going to see 2001: A space Odyssey at the
Falkirk Odeon in 1968. "I was only wee then like, ken" he told the JT "but
I thought by twa thoosand an' wan Bonnybridge wid be aw futuristic and that. But it's
still just a tip, like." Mr McNicol, who has never travelled far
from Bonnybridge, recalled how over the years he would await the construction of a shiny
new monorail system capable of completing the journey between Bonnybridge and New York in
45 minutes. His enquiries to Midland Scottish on the project meeting only with a terse
"Dear Mr McNicol, Midland Scottish has no plans to build a monorail capable of
intercontinental travel. You pal, are away with the budgies…" |
He showed the JT the small suitcase
he had packed early in 1975 in anticipation of travelling on the regular Pan-AM shuttle to
the moon. Over the intervening years his travel plans have progressively shrunk in scope
but Mr McNicol still harbours dreams of visiting Millport one day. Elsewhere
in Bonnybridge, observers reported the sighting of a pitch black monolith silently
hovering over the town as if waiting to make a contact that would mark a new stage in
mankind's evolution.
Instead, the monolith moved away at light speed when excited locals started
jumping up and down, throwing sticks and making hysterical hoo hoo and, furthermore, hah
hah noises. |
