| President Bush, on tour across
Europe this last week, was quick to agree that an independent Scotland would be welcome in
an expanded Nato. In an exclusive interview with The JT, Mr Bush
confided: "Listen, if these Scottish people, whoever they are, want to breakaway from
whatever, I've no problem with that. As long as they've got money to spend on the quality
product offerings provided by the American arms industry then why the hell not?"
If Scotland became independent, Mr Bush continued, the US would be happy to
offer the new nation-state free membership of Nato. "We're running a special offer at
the moment, simply spend at least 50% of GDP on our top quality peace keeping ordinance
and you receive, absolutely free, an elegantly embossed certificate of membership,
lovingly crafted in the finest vellum effect, suitable for framing." |
Sources close to the SNP leadership
reacted cautiously to the offer. "It’s a tricky one, given that some of the
membership are a bit sniffy about budget busting purchases of weapons of mass destruction.
It would really depend on the global balance of power at the time, an analysis of
Scotland's own interests and, crucially, how nice the certificate was." Meanwhile,
Mr Bush insisted that the US would listen long and hard to European concerns over his
latest strategic move to take money away from the poor and give it to his Dad's pals in
the arms industry.
"I fully understand European worries over the new missile defence system
but let me assure you, there's not one chance in a million of it actually working
properly, so world peace is assured." |
