| Prince Charles, normally a great
supporter of tradition, plans to get round CofE opposition to his marriage to Lady Camilla
Parker Bowles, by simply relocating the nuptials to Scotland. In a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury, the prince acknowledged the
doctrinal problems associated with the titular head of the established church in England
marrying a divorcee. "I quite understand," the prince wrote, "that
tradition must be revered and respected, until, that is, all that bollocks gets in the way
of me enjoying myself. Consequently, I must now tell you that I'm off to Jockoland to wed
my bitch and you can all just kiss my ermined butt."
Meanwhile, scientists, with nothing better to do with their
time, identified Charles as exhibiting the symptoms of 'suffering' from a common disorder
amongst titled bigwigs: piety by proxy - PBP. |
Professor Beaker explains:
"PBP manifests itself in long, tedious public pronouncements on nature, spirituality
and the need to live simply by traditional norms and values. With the wittering inanities
safely made, the 'sufferer' can then happily return to a life of ostentatious indolence,
blasting around the planet in carbon-fuel-guzzling transport, being unspeakably cruel to
God's creatures and shagging for England." As
news as of the proposed wedding broke last night, bells rang out all over Scotland as a
grateful peasantry looked forward to being patronised anew by the Windsors all dressed up
like Harry Fuckin' Lauder . |
