| It's to do with testicles -
that’s the shock news this week from Edinburgh scientists studying male
torn-facedness. Academics at Edinburgh’s
Institute for Nothing Better To Do With their Time Studies, reported that fluctuations in
the production of testosterone might account for the tendency for adult males to take the
huff, stare at nothing for hours on end while growling, and snarl at their nearest and
dearest.
Lead bollocks boffin Oscar O’Onion Bag told the JT:
"For years, those strange creatures with lumps on their chests have pondered why
their male partners manifest extreme crabbitness from time to time. We can now confirm
that, like PMT in females, it's all to do with hormones and nothing to do with waking up
with a killer hangover, pondering the absolute futility of existence or, in Scotland,
'looking forward' to England playing in the World Cup." |
The research has pointed to the
prospect of treatment but as the said treatment involves plittering about with the male
reproductive system or, "Funland" as males know the area, take-up of the cure is
likely to be somewhere around zero. As an interesting
aside, the research protocols were developed by studying behaviour among sheep, and WH
Smiths in Aberdeen report that copies of the study have completely sold out along with
traditional Aberdonian top shelf faves "Black-Face Babes" and "Cheviot
Trollops." |
