| Leaders of the bizarre "keep
the pound" cult met in Dundee last week, bravely ignoring the open derision of locals
who laughed cruelly and pointed at them. Cult
leader, William Hague, addressed delegates, some not yet clinically dead, on the need to
keep the pound, re-introduce imperial measures and be ever vigilant against the wily ways
of the Perfidious Hun.
Delegates, with hearing aids turned all the way up, could
just about listen to cult leaders espouse a new ideological programme for the movement
,"the common-sense revolution" developed by listening carefully, all over the
country, to the views of prejudiced, reactionary toss-pots one step away from being
sectioned under the Mental Health Act. |
"There is no division within
the Party" the shaven-headed leader told those in the audience not having a little
nap, "we are united around a coherent set of xenophobic and reactionary beliefs,
clear in our message that all foreigners are inherently untrustworthy, especially the
Krauts and the Frogs as well for that matter." The speech held the audience
spellbound, the silence only broken by sounds of gentle snoring and the clacking of
ill-fitting dentures. Leading North Britons
urged supporters to get out and campaign throughout Scotland and insisted "we're
back."
Inspired, delegates trundled down wheelchair ramps into
Dundee's streets, only to come to a halt on realising that they had forgotten who they
were and where they were. |
