| Following Jim McLean's resignation
from Dundee United's board after an "alleged" attack on hapless hack BBC
reporter John Barnes, senior figures in the City of Despondency have rocked philosophical
circles with a truly innovative ethical strategy. The spokesman for the
Dundee United Supporters club argued on Sunday that Jim had done the right thing by
resigning and the club should now press him to re-join the board. Professor Beaker of
Dundee University's Department of Pointless Exercises in Semantics hailed the argument put
forward as a breakthrough in some philosophical area so arcane that he'd forgotten what it
was called.
"It's brilliantly argued" Professor Beaker told the JT. "You do
wrong, admit guilt, resign and then are reinstated. You can't fault the logic, because
it’s a logic-free argument. Brilliant." |
Sources close to Mr McLean say that
it is unlikely that the torn-faced pugilist will return to football's top flight or indeed
Dundee United for that matter. It's more likely that Mr McLean will elect to launch his
own series of personal development seminars targeted at management high fliers looking to
improve their performance. In preparation are:
- "I'm OK, you're Shite" - an in-depth look at sensitively handling
interpersonal relationships
- "Embrace your dourness" - too many people try to look cheerful,
instead, Jim argues, get in touch with your own torn sconeness and if people don't like
it, then fuck 'em.
- "Think positively, act negatively." - keep the bastards on their toes
with this simple management tool.
- "Conflict resolution" - faced with difficult questions? Twat the
bastard.
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