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Dylan to play Stirling Castle: residents of local nursing homes not to be told "excitement might kill them" say concerned staff.
Bob Dylan, folk singer, rock poet, spokesman for his generation and nascent OAP is to play Stirling Castle this summer.

Excited local councillors (average age 50) welcomed the booking, saying that the appearance of Mr Whiney would spark anew debates that have raged around the council chambers for years: was the demigod's conversion to electro-folk in 1965 a sell out, has he produced a decent album since Blood on the Tracks, and will he manage to climb on to stage unassisted?

Local Dylan completists are already booking tickets to see the great man perform. Local physics teacher, Billy Kennedy, 48, proudly showed off to the JT editor his collection of Dylan recordings stretching back to the last Ice Age.

Mr Kennedy who has travelled the length and breadth of the UK to see his idol perform, hurriedly set up a slide show of gigs he'd attended, a four hour compilation of mind numbing tedium, loon pants and ill-advised tie dye T-shirts.

It has emerged that Mr Dylan has local connections. Long term Cowie resident, Mary McLumphie well remembers Auld Zimmerman's Kosher Pie Shop run by the singer's father in the delightful pit village.

"Oh Aye, I mind o' him before he went awa' tae America efter the war ken. Ah mind o' young Bobbie tae like, aye prostestin' aboot something or ither - the price o' Spangles mainly as ah mind…" Mrs McLumphie also recalled the young Bob taking intensive harmonica lessons, but you'd never know to listen to him.

Inside: Local businesses predict gig will provide bonanza in sales of hash, Wincarnis, jam and tea.
(For Chris McNicol)
May 2001
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