| Leading health care experts this
week diagnosed collective dementia as the only explanation for the Scottish Executive's
continuing confusion over implementing health care plans for the elderly. Professor
Quack told the JT: "It's clear from listening to Government ministers that they're
all going a bit doolally."
Susan Deacon, interviewed earlier in the week, started off well in explaining
the official position but became progressively more confused on the issue of paying for
personal care. Pressed to explain the detail, Ms Deacon became increasingly querulous
repeatedly asking the interviewer if he knew where her knitting was.
Henry McLeish managed three coherent sentences but got
stuck on explaining the meaning of the term "proposals" and began looking off
into the middle distance while drooling. |
Deputy Leader Jim Wallace was meant
to handle a hastily-arranged press conference but tragically got lost while looking for
the toilet. All planned Executive meetings for the coming week have been
cancelled and instead an emergency programme of tea-dances, bingo and shouting at the TV
has been substituted.
Senior gerontologists suspect that the collective dementia may only be a passing
phase but they warn in the meantime that care should be taken in dealing with members of
the Executive. "When they say 'do you know who I am?', it might be a cry for help
rather than a rhetorical question." |
