| The proposed ambassador-level
appointment to represent Scottish interests in Washington is to feature as the star prize
in this year's Scottish Enterprise staff raffle. "As a modern go-ahead organisation
dedicated to developing the Scottish economy we thought at first it only fitting that this
prestigious posting be advertised nationally but then we thought, fuck it, let's just
carve it up between ourselves as usual." A spokescrat told the JT. The
post, attracting a free house, free car, free illegal immigrant skivvying and a salary of
squillions, is widely regarded as a plum posting within Scottish public service. The
successful candidate would be expected to undertake an arduous round of cocktail parties,
official receptions and golf course meetings while wearing a kilt and being cute 'n'
couthy for the benefit of potential US investors. |
The spokescrat continued,
"When US multinationals are looking to locate manufacturing capacity, it's vitally
important that Scotland has a voice on the offchance that there might be a few low-skill
level assembly jobs on offer." Meanwhile, there is expected to be
fierce competition within the agency for a posting to the newly contacted Planet Thargg.
The Thargian Grand Council has already indicated its intention to site at least some of
its dilithium crystal production on Earth and Scottish Enterprise are anxious to canvass
the leaders of the lizard-headed race.
"By most estimates, Planet Thargg is a least three light years away from
Earth - just think of the fuckin' airmiles" the barely coherent spokescrat frothed
greedily. |
