| Following the high profile arrests
of anti-nuclear protestors at Faslane last week, local police have admitted that they got
it wrong. A shamefaced Chief Constable told the JT, "Apparently the
protesters were right all along - nuclear weapons are illegal." Determined not to be
wrong footed again the rednecked rozzer went on to explain the new police tactics.
"Basically we're going to seize any Trident submarine we find, disarm it
and keep it in a cupboard down the station."
The latest product of money-down-the-drainism "HMS Dangerously
Unstable" is currently completing sea trials including the tricky manoeuvre
"Snag a Trawler" followed by the pish easy manoeuvre, "Deny
everything." |
Until the police can successfully
handcuff a 6,500 ton machine of mass destruction, the government is looking into an
interim solution - stationing the subs in areas where a majority of the local population
think nuclear weapons are just dandy. A Home Counties short list is
currently being drawn up and the lucky winning locals can look forward to admiring daily
the sight of a big black expensive thing cutting majestically through the waves trailing
an attractive cloud of radiation from its leaking reactor.
Meanwhile, tawny trot Tommy Sheridan, having viewed video footage of his Faslane
arrest is to save up for a hair transplant. |
