Bill Forsyth, heading up the "Clyde University" Psychic Research Unit, failed to notice that Jamesie Cotter’s wife out of Rab C Nesbitt was working the reception desk, so if the petty cash box goes missing Mr so-called "Professor" Bill Paterson, don’t come crying to me.

"Sea of Souls" (SOS - clever that, eh?) was a reasonably diverting two hours of daftness, centring on Siobhan Redmond’s discovery of a twin sister living in London with the actress doing a good job playing against herself courtesy of some clever split screen work. (I wonder if Siobhan was on double wages?)

The Glasgow based twin has been knocking off one of her students and her newly found twin isn’t a happy bunny when she finds out so then she starts knocking off Glasgow Siobhan’s hubby, Peter Capaldi..., Complicated? Just thank the Lord the plot didn’t call for identical triplets.

Professor Bill’s input mainly involved testing the twins for telepathic powers and walking about the hallowed halls of Jordanhill College. Oh, and he solves the mystery right at the end as well…

The show probably didn’t justify its post-watershed slot, since apart from the afore-mentioned nookie and the obligatory murder of the disposable student at the end the first episode, SOS was essentially Sunday teatime viewing. Very well done but not especially innovative or scary come to that.

At the very end good Siobahn gets bumped off by evil Siobahn who takes good Siobahn’s place as Peter Capaldi’s wife. And how do we know this? ‘Cos Professor Bill worked out the switch and confronted evil Siobahn with the evidence.

And then? And then he just walks away into the closing credits accompanied by that screeching noise your credulity makes just as it reaches breaking point. I mean, given that SOS is a series of self-contained two parters, what happens next week? Does it open with our Professor sitting thinking "God, something really bad happened last week that I should really tell the police about. Now, what was it? Honestly I’ve got a mind like a sieve…"

Talking about drama, is it just me or have the BBC lost the plot somewhat? I’m racking my brains sitting here I can’t think of one must see show coming out of AuntieLand. And before the delicate souls at Queen Margaret Drive start cursing into their lattes, I mean the Beeb in general.

Compare and contrast with the stuff coming out of the North of England just now. The peerless "Shameless" comes to mind on the drama front. As black comedy it's unbeatable, but it's much more than that. The beauty in Paul Abbot’s writing lies in presenting us with an apparently dysfunctional one-parent family and tenderly unwrapping and displaying the strength and constancy of the family members layer by layer. Oh, and it's got that wee Glesca actor in it as well , James Mc Avoy. So we can shamelessly take some credit for the quality of "Shameless" as well …

While I’m blethering on about TV, there’s been a fair bit in the news about how The Executive have spent £3m on advertising to prompt people to phone a healthy eating hotline. Apparently not too many people are now calling, possibly because the TV ad only ran for a few (expensive) weeks ages ago. The Health Minister went ahead with the campaign despite advice from experts who presumably argued that a £3m TV advertising campaign to persuade people not to eat toxic waste disguised as food is hee and indeed haw compared to the every day ad-spend of purveyors of said toxic waste.

They might also have pointed out that TV advertising is designed to keep people doing what they already do, i.e. to reinforce patterns of consumption behaviour. Unless you are prepared to commit squillions to saturate the airwaves, TV advertising is absolutely crap, on its own, in changing consumer behaviour.