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| Charles and Camilla to honeymoon in Scotland :
wildlife advised to run for cover |
| Joy was literally unconfined this week on the news that His
Royal Waste Of Spaceness is to honeymoon in Scotland, at Birkhall Lodge, after marrying
live-in lover Camilla. Now, given that they’ve been going it like knives since Our
Saviour departed Dumbarton, how are they to spend that very special time together? Go
on, take a guess…
- Incoming Royal Helicopter makes repeated strafing runs over grazing herd of deer.
Camilla finds rate of fire from onboard minigun disappointingly slow.
- Romantic walk in adjoining forest enlivened by bringing squirrels down by firing off RPG
rounds into the trees.
- Disappointment at meagre day’s bag from grouse shooting alleviated by beating the
beaters.
- Charles impresses Camilla with his profound and completely novel thoughts on the need to
preserve ecological balance by reference to his collection of dead voles.
- Highland evenings whiled away by watching videos of previous family days out, featuring
touching scenes of child abuse - kids being smeared in fox blood.
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| Inside: Very old joke.
A lady suffers the death of her pair of chipmunks and takes them to the taxidermist. He
enquires "Would you like them mounted?" To which the lady replies, somewhat put
out, "Well, I was just thinking of having them holding hands if that’s
alright." |
February 2005
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