First, step up to the podium, The Reverend John McLeod of The Free Presbyterian Church who, in the church’s magazine, tactfully introduced the idea that the Tsunami tragedy might have been down to The Deity being a bit pissed off by people enjoying themselves on a Sunday.

And up next, those happy clappies over at Godland who condemned the granting of a license to pursue therapeutic cloning - the only chance on the scientific horizon to find a cure for Motor Neurone Disease.

An all purpose religious spokesnutter told The JT: "First, scientists could abuse this process, leading to the cloning of 60 foot tall monsters who will roam our streets smashing down buildings and eating cars. Second, in some way that only makes sense to us, a microscopic cluster of atoms is actually a tiny little baby with hands and feet and everything. Such a position might fly in the face of all rationality, but let’s face it, you don’t often find the words rational and religion positively conjoined in the same sentence."