On the weekend that
Wales beat England 11-9 in Cardiff, there were calls to review International Rugby Board
employment rules following Scotland’s controversial defeat in Paris.Critics are
calling into question the ocular competencies of two match officials, Referee Nigel
Williams, and touch judge, Simon McDowall.
First off, Simon Mc Dowall ruled Ally Hogg’s foot in touch, thus disallowing his
try.
Mr Mc Dowall, defending his decision laler,, told The JT: "Hogg’s foot was
definitely in touch, as was the foot of his twin brother playing just alongside him."
Mr McDowall’s later behaviour fuelled suspicions that he was in fact suffering
from "cross-eyed bastard" syndrome. At the conclusion of an interview by a
solitary reporter, Mr McDowall enquired of the bemused hack: "Is your pal no wanting
to ask any questions then?"
In the car park, Mr McDowall couldn’t decide between his real car and the strange,
spectral shimmering doppleganger of his car just off to the side.
Meanwhile, Referee Nigel Williams, who sinbinned Jon Petrie for an offside offence not
picked up by anyone else, later apologised to Scotland fans : "My feet got tangled in
my guide dog’s lead and, in falling over, I involuntarily blew my whistle. Sorry
about that. Now, could somebody help me find the door?"
Elsewhere on planet Sport, under-fire DUFC boss Ian McCall’s continuing employment
prospects remain bleak, despite a weekend face-saving victory at Queen of the South.
Following a 7-1 gubbing at the hands of The Huns mid-week, critical fans insist that
McCall’s days as United manager are numbered, as our spokestannadice now reveals:
"Not only is McCall’s jacket on a shoogly nail. The nail is loosely banged into
some precipitous rock near the top of The La. And McCall’s jacket, hanging on the
nail, has got McCall in it."
