Jack McConnell’s relief at getting the various torn-faced protagonists from across the sectarian divide together for a chinwag was tempered somewhat by the post-conference comments of the rival factions.

First up, The leader of the Orange Order in Scotland made a heartfelt, if bewildering to sane people, plea that The Act of Settlement, that forbids left-footers applying for the job of monarch be maintained, while Cardinal O’Brien called for The Act to be repealed.

A real meeting of minds there then, but all too typical as Professor Beaker of Glasgow’s Department of Truly, Up You Could Not Make It Studies now explains: "It's entirely typical of both sides of the divide to think that an Act instituted in 1703 has any relevance to the 21^st century. Apparently that trifling chronological fact doesn’t impinge on the consciousness of people whose brains live in the 18^th century."

Certainly, the news that The Act informs the day-to-day concerns of participants on Orange Walks will be a cause for some application of syringes on the ears of bystanders forced to endure these (ahem) "expressions of cultural tradition". Anyone who previously thought that the defenders of the Orange colour were chanting "Fuck The Pope and The IRA!" as they marched along were obviously just mishearing : "Protect Religious Freedom - defend the Act of Settlement!" So that’s cleared that one up.

Meanwhile, it's obvious that Jack has had an irony bypass, when he applauded the fact that The Old Firm had an organisation each, charged with eradicating sectarianism. That’s one organisation for The ‘tic and one for the Bears.