| "We'll just have to try to
rebuild our lives" - that's the message this week from the nation's cloven hoofed
community with the news that the Foot and Mouth epidemic has been contained. Daisy,
an attractively patterned Perth based Friesian spoke for many ruminants when she told the
JT: "It's been terrible seeing all those TV reports about animal slaughter, thank God
that's all in the past."
Daisy had been suspicious over the past disappearance of herd members, taken
away in trucks, never to be seen again, but she's convinced now that surviving ruminants
can look forward to a long and happy life; "Look at all that footage on TV of farmers
crying over dead animals. It's clear to me that, in future, we herbivores will have
nothing to fear from Man." |
Porky, an Aberdeenshire pig,
expressed similar sentiments: "I think we'll just be left alone now to raise our
families in peace watched over by divine providence, a porcine paradise in point of
fact." Sally, a Solway centred sheep further pondered the
philosophical issues raised by FMD and the change of heart evidenced amongst the farming
community. "It's clear" she baa'd attractively, "that farmers will, from
this day forth, embrace a vegetarian ethic, while contingently developing a comprehensive
theory of animal rights."
The JT tried to contact leading members of Scotland's farming community for
comment on this Elysium to come but they were all too busy, filling in the detail in
compensation forms imaginatively and arranging block bookings at Bratislav abattoirs. |
