| It is with profound regret that the
JT must record the loss to our nation of Ms Clarissa Dickson Wright. The Musselburgh
Mountain, as she is affectionately known, a sane and rational voice speaking bravely
against the forces of bobble hatted political correctness, warned earlier this week that
if the Scottish Parliament voted to ban hunting, she would return to England. As
news of the vote came through Ms Wright slipped into the River Tweed, symbolic watery
border betwixt our two nations, and floated out to sea relying on coastal currents to bob
her homeward. In a cruel twist, the event went almost unwitnessed despite Ms Wright's
issuing of a press release. As Ms Wright lowered her body into the river, only a few
seagulls bore witness to her passage out to sea. A few ill bred foxes did line the bank of
the river, laughing and pointing cruelly, displaying for all to see the disrespectful
irreverence that reasonable people everywhere have come to expect from their beknighted
kind. |
Ms Wright was a true polymath,
combining incisive political analysis with a love of Edwardian country house cooking,
eschewing modern faddish concerns about diet with a robust, no-nonsense approach to the
culinary arts. Indeed, who among us has not salivated at the prospect of
one of her signature dishes - liver, lights and sheep's head drizzled with warm lard?
She was a woman too of surprises, instanced when she announced at the last
election her intention to switch allegiance from the Lib-Dems to the Tories - the surprise
being of course that everyone thought she was a Tory anyway! Such playfulness.
So we say farewell then to Ms Wright and pray that in her journey southward she
manages to fend off the amorous attentions of a male Minke whale who hasn't had it in
months. |
