| A storm of protest broke this week
with news that convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi-Fallguy was getting his
hair cut by a serving prison officer flown in from Scotland to the Netherlands. While
ill-informed media speculation criticised the use of scarce penal resources to give the
Libyan a short back and sides, the JT can reveal that the trip was actually part of a
carefully planned intelligence gathering operation and not, as first thought, a PR fuck up
missed by the SPS management.
In a devastatingly effective interview, the snipping screw forced Abdel Etc into
making a series of damning admissions:
- That he had not been anywhere nice for his holidays yet.
- That he was not in fact working today
- That he had no plans to go anywhere nice for a meal this weekend
- That he agreed that a little gel did add a body to your hair and made it easier
to manage.
|
The wider intelligence community
has been thunderstruck by these revelations, a spokesspook told the JT "The SPS have
got this one right. There's no way a local Dutch hairdresser could have got Megrahi to
open up like this, besides a hairdresser in clogs would just look fuckin' stupid." International
Terrorism expert, Professor Beaker expressed hope that Megrahi's appeal against conviction
would fail. "We need to send out a message to the world that blowing up passenger
jets and killing hundreds of people is wrong. The guilty must be punished."
Unless, that is, you’re the captain of the Vincennes, in which case you get
off with it and the US Navy gives you a medal… |
