| The report into cost-overruns at
Holyrood was published last week and found that a classical education was not necessarily
an advantage in managing large-scale building projects. Professor Beaker, head of Heriot Watt's Department of the Bleeding
Obvious explains: "In the time-honoured tradition of the British Civil Service, day
to day management of the project was overseen by urbane, scrupulously polite ex-public
schoolboys who couldn't eat mince without a diagram."
The report found that the ability to effortlessly conjugate Latin verbs did not
necessarily transfer to understanding the technical details of enormous civil engineering
projects.
An engineer, working on the building, reports that senior
civil servants refused to look at drawings, considering them "too, too vulgar"
but they did express an interest in finding out where the wine cellar was to be placed. |
As cost projections for the project
spiralled upwards, civil servants began to express concerns - over the shortage of a
decent crusted port at one's club. Elsewhere,
the report criticised First Minister
Donald Dewar for his handling of the project - particularly the drawings. An
architect explains:
"Donald would insist on pretending he understood the
schematics and he'd scrunch the drawings right up to his glasses, eyes squinting, mouth
open, like your Granny reading the Sunday Post. It took bloody ages
to get the crinkles out later, that and having to wash the spit bits off.
Eucch..."
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