| "What's left for satire, when
Inverness does this to us?"- that was the message from oh so clever smart aleck
satirists this week on the news that the Highland (ahem) capital plans to bid to become
European city of culture. Previously, the village on steroids nestling on
the Moray Firth was famous only for the destination boards on departing buses marked
"To civilisation" and "Anywhere, God help us, but here."
The city nouveau has recently been described as "A dump. A cemetery with
lights. A bombsite with windows. A place where the human soul lies crushed and
beaten." And others have echoed the Lord Provost's criticisms...
With all the atmosphere of the moon, Inverness seems an unlikely candidate for the
European wide award, but the city is fighting back. |
A local councillor told the JT:
"Once we find out what this culture stuff is we'll gets loads of it trucked in and
stack it up in a prominent position before the judges come to visit." Dismissing
claims that the whole exercise was an excuse for foreign jaunts using other people's money
the councillor continued, "only a cynic would question the need for the council to
hold cash reserves in the form of travellers cheques, it's all perfectly innocent" he
said while thumbing through the Rough Guide to Whores of Europe.
The editor of the JT commented, "This Inverness bid is right up there with
Kissinger receiving the Nobel prize for bombing the fuck out of Cambodia back in '73. I
tell you, if I open the paper next week and read that East Kilbride's putting in for City
of Architecture, I'm giving this shit up. How can I compete?" |
