"Hurricane-force
gusts of 100mph blew the P&O ferry European Highlander from Larne, Northern Ireland,
on to a sandbank 100 yards off Cairnryan, Dumfries and Galloway, just after 6am Saturday.
The company laid on a free bar and food for the 43 passengers and 57 crew.The ship was refloated at 11am on Sunday’s morning tide"
BBC Online News,9th January 2004.
That bit about the bar… good move as these compelling
extracts from the captain’s log ably demonstrate.
0610hrs, Saturday, 8th January, 2004
Sea anchors successfully deployed, ship, passengers and crew in no immediate danger.
Coastguard advises that tug will not be available to refloat the ship until morning high
tide on Sunday.
0700hrs. Saturday 8th January, 2004.
First officer reports that passengers are already becoming restless. Contingents heading
for the Old Firm Cup-tie on Sunday are already preparing defensive positions in the coffee
bar. Cries of "Follow, follow!" and "And it’s a grand old team to play
for!" can be heard echoing through the ship.
0715hrs. Saturday, 8th January, 2004.
Situation becoming critical. Authorise the cook to break out supplies of Ulster Fryups.
0800hrs. Saturday, 8th January, 2004.
Cook reports the situation has improved somewhat as Celtic and Rangers fans sleep off the
effects of fried egg, sausage, black pudding, spiced ham and fried bread. Engineering
reports that the rises in levels of blood cholesterol are within acceptable health limits.
1300hrs. Saturday, 8th January 2004.
Cook’s attempts to offer a Mediterranean lunch option lead to renewed murmuring
amongst passengers. Situation defused, God willing, by deploying the ship’s last
reserves of steak pie with extra gravy.
1500hrs. Saturday, 8th January 2004.
Purser reports that puggies in the coffee bars have been completely cleared of cash.
Company’s accountants will demand a reckoning.
1700hrs. Saturday, 8th January, 2004.
Very bad news from below decks. FO reports that Old Firm fans have joined forces in
demanding to be let off the ship. Apparently a passenger has spotted that a pub in
Cairnryan is open for business. I authorise the breaking out of muskets and cutlasses from
ship’s strong room. Passengers break out AK47s and RPGs. Have FO return muskets and
cutlasses to stores and instruct the purser to open the ship's bar.
Situation tense, I find myself obsessively rolling
ball-bearings back and forth in my right hand. FO notices pronounced tick just below my
left eye.
1900 Hrs. Saturday 8th January 2004
Opening the bar and allowing people to help themselves seems to have worked. Decline offer
from now overly- friendly passengers to attempt to jump-start the ship. I do allow
passengers to play with the ship’s wheel as rudder is inoperative.
Passengers insist in crying out "Ahr, Jim lad!"
for no good reason while spinning the wheel round and round.
2100 hrs. Saturday 8th January 2004.
News of the free bar has spread on-shore. Passengers and crew successfully repel boarding
attempt by Cairnryan locals in search of free drink. Again return muskets and cutlasses to
stores…
0100 hours, Sunday 9th January 2004.
Bar steward reports that supplies of lager are running dangerously low. Tennents
helicopter successfully lands 100 kegs of "Super" on deck. Perhaps we shall
survive the night after all.
1100hours, Sunday, 9th of January. 2004.
Salvation! Tug successfully re-floats the ship. We are saved. Dock without further
incident in port.
1300 hours, Sunday 9th January, 2004.
Passengers refusing to leave the ship until the bar is completely dry.
Now, where did I leave those ball-bearings?
