| A distinguished panel of judges
pronounced on the best view in the UK this week on behalf of cutting-edge arts mag
"Country Life". The panel, led by BBC Newsnight gobshite,
Jeremy Paxman, plumped for Salisbury Cathedral from a short list of 20. Running the winner
a close thing, The Milton Keynes Bus Station came second, with Public Bog, Purley coming
in third.
Against reasonable expectation then, nowhere in Scotland was considered worthy
of the award, leading many to wonder if the judging panel were in fact blind as
fuckin’ bats, but no.
As the editor of Country Life explains: "Our
magazine’s circulation demographic is composed |
mainly of rurally located in-bred
half-wits who think universal suffrage a new fangled notion likely to lead to the loss of
Empire. In Country Life world, England is the UK and Scotland is North
Britain. If you think for one minute that somewhere outside England was going to get the
award then you obviously know nothing about the economics of magazine publishing. Now piss
orf you uppity oik before I set the dogs on you."
In keeping with the democratic temper of the age that insists that all must have
prizes, The JT is pleased to award the Country Life panel the prestigious Gold Medal in
Vocalising Via The Anal Orifice. |
