"Obviously that’s a load of old bollocks" a SE source told the JT, "we’d have to be mad to spend that kind of cash simply communicating with the electorate. That’s what our spin doctors are for".

The real purpose of the lavish budget spend, it was revealed, was to channel public money into the arts sector. A spokesluvvie explained tearfully: "There are literally dozens of actors who depend on us to bung them a decent up-front fee plus a monthly cheque every time the ad is re-shown. Without us, many of our nation’s actors, and John Hannah, would face an uncertain future."

Although the SE dismissed claims that the ad campaigns were designed to influence future voting intentions, media analysts are not so sure. Professor Beaker of Edinburgh’s Department of Getting Paid to Watch the Telly Studies told the JT: "If you watch these ads and really slow the frame rate, you can just catch the subliminal messages being flashed. Although I’m not sure that the nude shot of Jack McConnell will have the desired effect."

Meanwhile, as the Scottish Parliament goes into summer recess the cast of the long running "Holyrood" soap are preparing for the traditional summer season with SNP supremo John Swinney guesting on Corrie as the Scots bloke who doesn’t have any lines and Jim Wallace playing Hector the ice cream man on High Road.