| A report, commissioned by the
Scottish Executive published this week that most Scots rely on "The Simpsons"
for trusted information on the nuclear industry. Research carried out by
the Scottish Council Foundation found that people believed that Homer’s antics at Mr
Burns' nuclear facility were a more accurate picture of real half-life than PR fluff
produced by the industry’s press office.
Speaking from deep within a lead lined bunker, an industry spokesisotope told
the JT: "This is a very disappointing finding. The actual running of the industry is
nothing like the fictional goings on in Springfield" he said reassuringly, before
leaning too far back in his chair and crashing into a set of switches that triggered
melt-down procedures. |
"Reality is very
different" he explained. "In terms of using The Simpsons as an analogy,
successive governments are more like Homer. Trustingly signing agreements that allow the
industry to safely process billions of tax payers' cash into dividends for our
shareholders and then, and this is the clever bit, going back to uber-dummy Homer again
and getting him to pay out to deal with the detritus of an unsafe technology. It might not
be very funny, but It makes us laugh." This week, in tribute to the
endless re-cycling of dangerous rubbish that characterises the nuclear industry, the
editor of the JT invites you to walk down a lead-lined memory lane as we look back over
nuclear stories that have featured in past issues of the JT. But first, put this Haz-Mat
suit on, sign the indemnity waiver and for fuck’s sake don’t press any buttons. |
