| Labour party leader in waiting Gordon Brown intervened in the debate
this week on whether we should spend 25 billion of your earth pounds on renewing the
UK’s (ahem) "independent" noocular deterrent. In a week when activists
were pressing governments to make good on their commitment to Make Poverty History in the
developing world, Chancellor Brown reassured the waiting and dying millions that we could
afford to both spend the cash to lease nuclear warheads from the US AND feed the starving.
He told a frankly sceptical JT :
"Cynics might say that I’m just trying to reassure the millions of Daily Mail
readers of middle England that we can still get it up in the priapic world of nuclear
proliferation. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Trident missile |
In a world where terrorists work in small, tight- knit groups,
scattered throughout the world, it's more important than ever that we continue to deploy a
missile system that can, with pinpoint accuracy take out terrorist cells and irradiate
hundreds of square miles at the same time. A bargain in anyone’s book." With
logic making that weird screaming noise as it's stretched to breaking point, Chancellor
Brown reassured our brothers and sisters in the developing world that the 25 billion spent
on renewing Trident was money well spent :
"It might be argued by those cynics who don’t have to appeal to the
blood-lust of reactionary tosspots who read the Daily Mail and unfortunately have a
+ Terrorist Target |
vote, that the cash might bebetter spent pursuing a programme of
international social justice thus alleviating the conditions that breed terrorism in the
first place. Nothing could be further from the truth. In a post 9/11 world, it's vitally
important that politicians aren’t afraid to stand up and be counted - mainly by
talking bollocks." In any event, in a worst-case scenario, with multiple strikes of
missiles leading to a nuclear holocaust, the developing world would be largely spared the
premature death of millions. Until the prevailing winds drove clouds of radioactive death
southwards, the poor and starving of the world would, however briefly, inherit the earth.
Much good it would do them.
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Kabloomy! |
