| Hopes of a quiet afternoon watching
World Cup soccer were spoiled on Saturday when a mystery strongman insisted in spoiling
fans' enjoyment of the game. SNP activists had congregated in Perth to
watch the match between Saudi and Germany, "We didn’t have anything better to
do" one disapointed fan explained" so we were just settling down to watch the
match on the big screen when this guy just wandered up to the front and totally blocked
the view."
SNP activists could only look on in frustration as John "Stromboli"
Swinney demonstrated just how tough he would be in achieving SNP hopes for independence.
Aided only by a diamanted Fiona Hislop he performed a series of feats of strength
including tearing a phone book in half with his bare hands - using a radical technique of
disposing of each page in turn. |
A clearly pissed off activist told
the JT: "After half an hour, he’d only got up to the "Cs" and Germany
had scored three times." Demonstrating his clear intention to
"clear anyone out of my way" on the road to independence Mr Swinney then
executed a series of Kung Fu style moves while making "Hee-yah!" noises although
an attempt to break through a pile of bricks resulted in Mr Swinney nursing a badly
bruised hand while making "Ooyah!" noises.
Mr Swinney dismissed speculation that he was merely a caretaker leader of his
party before stacking up the hall chairs, switching off the lights, locking up and going
for a half pint of shandy prior to retiring for the night. |
