| The sense of foreboding gripping
the Scottish nation is set to continue, experts predict, at least into the middle of the
coming week, and possibly longer. Top medical boffin, Professor Beaker of
Stirling’s Department of Something I Can’t Quite Put My Finger On Studies first
detected the general malaise late last week.
"Using highly technical metering devices that
only we know how to use, we detected a growing sense of foreboding among the Scots."
The cause however remains a mystery and while the feelings
were expected to dissipate around 2pm GMT Friday last, unease readings instead flew off
the scale, suggesting that something really bad had happened. |
At one second after 2.00pm, power
companies reported an unexpected downswing in demand for electricity as millions of TVs
around the country were unaccountably shut off accompanied by rude expletives like
"Fuck!" and "John Motson!" "It's clear,"
continued Professor Beaker pausing only to kick a passing cat, "that this general
feeling is likely to persist until something good happens in the very near future. Please
God."
Meanwhile, totally apropos of nothing, Michael "triple salko" Owen is
to represent England in the Commonwealth Games.
The Scot who won the cheering for England competition sponsored by a BBCTV show
will enjoy a free trip to the next Champions League Final - if, that is, he lives that
long. |
