| A report this week by boffins at
Glasgow University confirms what we all know already - when it comes to being fat, lazy
bastards, the Scots are tops! The report estimated that the NHS spend a
gut-busting £171m a year dealing with obesity.
So serious is the problem that university brain boxes are now predicting that
obesity related diseases will kill more people than that other perennial Scottish
favourite, lung cancer, within the next 15 years.
It's been long recognised that the Scots’
preference for ingesting toxic-waste-disguised-as-food has been a source of endless profit
for the agri-business community. An industry spokestub told the JT: Let's face it, some
nations have a love affair with food. The Scots, God love them, have a suicide pact. |
When it comes to consuming cheap
fat, sold dear, derived from meat production the Scots are league leaders" Medical
opinion in Scotland argues that the root cause lies not just in diet but in a whole range
of factors that will need to be addressed in the long term as Professor Beaker explains:
"It's not just diet, it's also to do with our national aversion to exercise and our
national hobby - enthusiastically acquiring addictive behaviours that can lead to dietary
cancers. Let's face it, Scotland is death wish city."
One representative fat lazy bastard told the JT: "It’s certainly
disturbing to hear that obesity will be the number one killer in fifteen years. I’ll
be making serious life style adjustments nearer the time - probably in fourteen and a half
years from now." |
