| Deputy Environment Minister Allan
Wilson chose Noise Action Day to launch the Scottish Executive’s new policy on noise
abatement. Struggling to make himself heard above the sound of pneumatic
drills tearing up the road outside, Mr Wilson attempted to tell hacks straining to hear,
that: "We must all do our bit to reduce (indistinct) … Using simple measures
like (drowned out) and ( no, sorry, didn’t get that) we can all make our cou..(
County?Country? Bugger, missed that as well) …Tough on noise, tough on the causes of
(waitress drops loaded tea tray into crate of broken bottles) Robust measures will be put
in ( "Haw! Anybody in |
here order a taxi?") For too
long community life has been ( Caterwauling of secretary next door singing along to Celine
Dion on her walkman) and finally and most crucially, it's vitally important that we, oh
fuck it, I didn’t want this brief, I mean who gives a fuck what we think anyway, no
one’s bloody listening anyway (complete silence)." As an
embarrassed Mr Wilson was led away, hacks were handed a helpful hints list to reduce noise
pollution, including advice not to leave your dog alone. Presumably because your dug likes
a bit of company while he barks at the space aliens only he can see… |
