| Under-fire FM Jack
McConnell promised an inquiry this week into how he managed to accept an invite to attend
a golf dinner for the same day he was expected to turn up for the D-day commemorations. The
subsequent 180 º turn has led Steven Spielberg to option the story - the touching
account of a young man who can see that it's all over for him unless he gets his ass on
Normandy beach, is attracting the attention of Tom Hanks and filming of "Saving
McConnell’s privates" will start early next year.
The inquest into how Jack originally managed to fuck this one big time is expected to
centre on the role of his coterie of personal advisors.
As one of the advisors told The JT:
"Can I just say that we all agreed 100% with Jack on his original decision to ixnay
the D-Day gig in favour of the golf date? And when Jack |
decided to do a complete
hand-brake turn on this, we were right behind him. And now if Jack wants to look into what
the fuck he’s paying us for when we just go along with whatever he wants to do anyway
then we will support him right to the hilt." Meanwhile, the D-DAY services will now
be graced by the figure of Jack adding to the list of moist-eyed political dignitaries
standing there thinking "Christ, this is a really good photo-op" before going
back to business as usual : treating war veterans as expensive embarrassments.
Tragically, Ronnie Reagan passed away this weekend, depriving the grand, self deluding,
old ham a chance to revisit the beach where he led his men ashore that June day in 1944,
charging up Omaha beach with machine gun fire raking left and right of him … and,
cut! That’s a print. |
